On the late Captain Grose's Peregrinations thro' Scotland collecting the Antiquities o that kingdom

On Capt.n G---'s present peregrinations thro' Scotland
Collection the antiquities of that kingdom.-

Hear, land o' Cakes, and brither Scots,
Frae Maiden-kirk to Johnie Groats,
If there's a hole in a' your coats,
I rede you tent it:
A cheil's amang you taking notes,
And faith, he'll print it!

If in your bounds ye chance to light
Upon a fine, fat, fodgel wight,
O' stature short, but genius bright,
That's he, mark weel;
And wow! he has an unco slight,
O' cauk & keel!

By some auld, houlet-haunted biggin,
Or kirk deserted by its riggin,
It's ten to ane, ye'll find him snug in
Some eldritch part;
Wi' diels, they say, Lord safe's! colleaguin
At some black art.-

Ilk Ghaist that haunts auld ha' or chaumer,
Ye Gipsey-gang that deal in glaumor,
And you deep read in hell's black grammar,
Warlocks & witches,
Ye'll quake at his conjuring hammer
Ye midnight b----s.-

It's tauld he was a Sodger bred,
And ane wad rather fa'n than fled,
But now he's quat the spurtle-blade,
And dog-skin wallet,
And ta'en the - Antiquarian trade
I think they call it. -

He has a fouth o' auld nick-nackets:
Rousty airn caps, and jinglin jackets,
 

Wad haud the Lothians three in tackets
A towmont gude;
And paratch-pots and auld saut-backets,
Afore the Flood.

Of Eve's first fire he has a cinder;
Auld Tubal-cain's fire-shool & fender;
That which distinguished the gender
O' Balaam's ass;
A broom-stick o' the Witch of Endor
Weel shod wi' brass.-

Besides, he'll cut you off fu' gleg.
The shape of Adam's philibeg;
The knife that nicket Abel's craig,
He'll prove you fully,
If 'twas a faulding jocteleg,
Or lang-kail gully.-

But wad ye see him in his glee,
For meikle glee & fun has he;
Then set him down, and twa or three
Gude fallows wi' him,
And Port, O Port! shine thou a wee,
And then ye'll see him!

Now by the Powers o' Verse & Prose,
Thou art a dainty cheil, O G--se!
Whae'er o' thee shall ill suppose,
They sair misca' thee:
I'd tak the rascal by the nose,
Wad say, shame fa' thee.-

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