Jo and Pete – a match made at Mar Lodge

How long were you together before you got engaged?

We met at Newcastle University in 2012 and were together for nearly 11 years before we got engaged.

When did you get engaged, and what was the setting for the proposal?

We got engaged in March 2023. We had gone for a run up one of our local Munros (Bynack Mor). Pete completely surprised me by getting down on one knee near the summit. It was a gorgeous, crisp day, and just after Pete proposed, a huge rainbow appeared out of nowhere. We had had a few romantic weekends away to some of our favourite places in the Highlands before then. Pete had planned to propose then, but the ring hadn’t arrived in time. In hindsight, he couldn’t have proposed anywhere better as it’s so lovely seeing the mountain we got engaged on every time we get a clear day in Strathspey.

How long from the engagement to the big day?

15 months. This felt like a nice amount of time, but this will be different for everyone.

Why did you choose Mar Lodge Estate for your ceremony and reception?

We live in the Cairngorms National Park and wanted to get married close to home, surrounded by mountains and nature. We also wanted to get married somewhere with enough on-site accommodation for the whole wedding party so we could stay together for the weekend without faffing with taxis or lots of separate accommodation. We loved Mar Lodge Estate’s relaxed style and the team’s flexibility to enable a very personal wedding.

Did you have a personal connection with Mar Lodge Estate?

Yes, Pete is a ranger who has worked with some of the Mar Lodge Estate team and has also organised residential events here.

Are you National Trust for Scotland members?

We are now! Mar Lodge Estate gifted us a membership after we got married – thank you!

What type of ceremony did you choose and why?

We chose to have a humanist ceremony. We wanted an informal, fun but personal ceremony, ideally outdoors. We also wanted to be able to get legally married on the day. We loved our ceremony. Flick (Felicity Gordon, humanist celebrant) met us before the wedding for a coffee and a long chat in Glasgow. They created the most brilliant ceremony that captured us as a couple when we were down there. We also had one of our best friends singing one of my favourite songs (Fever by Peggy Lee) in the middle of the ceremony, which was incredibly special.

How many people attended the wedding?

Around 60 people attended the full weekend, and an extra 40 came to the ceilidh in the evening.

What did you decide on as the main inspiration behind the look/atmosphere of your wedding?

We tried to support local businesses where possible, avoiding waste and eating sustainably.

We didn’t have specific aesthetic goals; our main aim was to ensure our wedding resonated with our values. For instance, the decorations were all second-hand items left at Mar Lodge from past weddings (they have a fantastic room stocked with reusable items). My sister-in-law contributed the bunting from their wedding, which matched beautifully in the Craggan room.

The flowers were by a local florist (Coo Hill Studio, Braemar), who used locally sourced flowers and foraged foliage. The wedding breakfast was incredible – wood-fired venison kebabs with greens, using as many homegrown/locally sourced ingredients as possible by the chef (Tim Maddams). We used Cairngorm Brewery to supply kegs.

How did you personalise your big day?

Pete created a map with many interesting things to do/find on the estate, such as great swim spots, finding the largest pine tree, running routes, etc.

It was great seeing photos of everyone dispersing into groups for activities on the morning of the wedding and Sunday. Over the years Pete and I have been lucky to go on many group trips away with friends to northern England, the Scottish Highlands or further afield. We wanted the weekend to feel like a massive group trip away with all our mates and for everyone to feel included. Because people were in various houses and flats within the main house, we created a WhatsApp community, which worked incredibly well to send out announcements before the big weekend and for things happening over the weekend, such as a swim or walk on a Sunday afternoon and breakfast being served. It allowed the weekend to feel more impromptu and relaxed. It was also a great space for folk to share photos afterwards.

Were any wedding traditions important to include and any you were keen to ditch?

Whilst this wasn’t an overly traditional wedding, there were certain things we did traditionally. For example, whilst we didn’t stay separately the night before, the bridal party and groomsmen did stay apart in the morning as I did a run with my maid of honour, and the groomsmen went for a run/swim, and we got ready separately. I also wanted my dad to walk me down the aisle. We cut the cake, as Pete’s mum had kindly made the most exquisite wedding cake for us, which we wanted to appreciate and acknowledge. We made some speeches, but the maid of honour and I (the bride) took part, as did the usual father of the bride/groom/best man. We exchanged rings, which we had made out of recycled metal in our local village by The Third Aye.

What was your favourite wedding detail?

I can’t think of anything specific, as the weekend exceeded all expectations and was so special. Pete’s motto was, ‘the details don’t matter, as long as everyone has a brilliant time‘. Certain highlights include the week leading up to the wedding as we’d hired Bynack at Mar Lodge and had a week with family, exploring the estate and setting up for the wedding. The morning of the wedding was gorgeous sunshine, and it was amazing to see everyone going out for various activities with various new friends they’d made. Other highlights include one of our groomsmen surprising us with his bagpipes and piping us in and out of the ceremony. The perfectly timed downpour of rain added such laughter and joy to the ceremony. The food was amazing, and the ceilidh was incredible. We have great memories of everyone carrying the leftover food and booze to the billiards room for an afterparty, going on until 4.30am! The next morning, having venison sausage butties with everyone howling with laughter, reminiscing about the previous day, and then swimming down the river are just a few of the incredible memories made.

What music did you walk down the aisle to?

I’m Feeling Good by Nina Simone. It‘s one of my favourite songs, and it was an absolute joy to walk down the aisle to.

What music was your first dance to?

We kicked off the ceilidh with the Gay Gordons. It is much easier than figuring out a ‘first dance’ routine, and ceilidhs are very inclusive.

What were the highlights of the day for you?

The absolute highlight of the weekend was having all our best friends and family in one place. Because we have been together a long time and have lived in multiple places, we have many friends from different aspects of our lives, but we knew everyone would get along. Because it was a fairly small wedding, and we’d had the stag and hen parties, it was just amazing to see everyone mixing and so many new friendships developed over the weekend.

What is your favourite shot from the wedding photographs, and why?

Neil was an amazing photographer who captured so many incredible memories. I particularly love the shot of Pete and me howling with laughter during the confetti throw. Our cheekbones hurt for weeks after the wedding, as we had laughed and smiled for the entire week.

What or who was your ‘star supplier’?

We can’t pick one. Everybody who contributed to the wedding was awesome and professional and made the wedding such a blast.

What advice would you give to brides/grooms-to-be who are about to start planning their day?

Start early, and chip away at it when you can. Don’t get caught up in the tiny details; everyone wants it to be the perfect day for you both and probably doesn’t even notice the finer details. People lead busy lives, so most people (us included when we are wedding guests!) don’t read the details of the wedding information until the Friday of the wedding weekend!

What problems did you encounter along the way, and how did you solve them?

No major problems! The staff at Mar Lodge were so helpful from start to finish and answered any questions. They also suggested some suppliers they’d used and helped us find the perfect celebrant who had done a recent wedding with them.

What did your guests say they enjoyed most about the wedding?

They loved the setting and the fact that it was such a relaxed wedding. We ensured that those who had young children were in the main house and sharing flats, and they took turns looking after them so they could all enjoy the ceilidh (and some downtime!). They also loved having the rooms for a long weekend so they could spend plenty of time exploring the estate while properly catching up with each other – we all live in different places now.

Looking back, is there anything you’d change about your wedding?

No, we loved everything about it and wish we could do it all over again.